12.4.11

Anger


I have a really bad emotion and temper lately. I easily feel angry. I don’t understand whether it only comes from myself or it comes from out of my self. I think I feel angry towards my circumstance,people around me. I am not  showing my anger to people. I keep it myself inside me. I do not know why this is happening. Normally, I am so patient even if some people hurts me. I think selfishness, or maybe more correctly assertiveness, is growing inside my heart. I am infuriated by how people treat others. Many people, including people exist in my daily routine, only care about their selves. They only seek for they interests. They do not give attention to others feeling and needs properly. I always care about other people. I feel bad if seeing somebody is in difficulty. I think I can feel very well other people feelings. But, not many people do what I am doing. Not many people live with the idealism that we should help and care to each other. Yes, not so many people are that bad. I meet good people too in my life. Such people are rarely to meet. They are so good and I will not forget such people. I would like to live with good people, who seeks not for their own interest, but also to help other, to make other people happy, out of difficulty.

Perhaps, I should be more assertive to protect my interest. I think I have been too patient. Many times, I sacrifice my interest for other people interest. As long as it is normal for both me and people, I will try to protect my owns, I will also protect other people who is treated unfairly by others. We have to be more assertive.  Well, I do not know what I am thinking now. Perhaps, I am in the middle of a mental crisis. Perhaps, I have to be wiser on seeing this problem, but clearly, I am working on being more assertive. And hey people, please don’t only care about yourself, we live together, don't we?
¾