13.6.11

Asymmetry

Things always change. I red that somewhere. Well, It really happens. I used to walking home with a friend, now he goes north, I go south oppositely. I used to think smoking is pointless, now I smoke cigarette sometimes. I wanted to join my class holiday to Anyer. Now, I am not interested at all. My classmates are going to Anyer this weekend, I am not joining them.  I was going to quit the debating club in my campus. I did not quit eventually.  Now, I am one of its staffs in sparring and curriculum division. Changes, changes, changes.

Yesterday, I called my father. He is dong okay. I told him to take care of himself, to start smoke less cigarettes and to start exercising. He said to me that he is now exercising, just like me, he likes jogging. It is good. Good.

It was 10 PM. Anya texted me. I ever went steady with her. She asked me, “Are you Sleeping?”. “I am dreaming, haha. Are you okay?” I replied. At 1 AM, I red her reply, “I can’t sleep”. I replied again, “Try not to think about anything…”. First, somehow I just think that I need a girl beside me. She will cheer me up. Second, it is too easy to suggest her to think less. It is very easy to me to say so to people, to take something easier, while I actually have that problem too. I am thinking about many things over and over again recently, until I get depressed, especially about relationship.

Do you miss somebody? I do miss some people. I want to meet them. I want to talk to them. I want to share my stories to them. I want to be with them. Just wondering, when it will happen.

Kak Sadimin advised me to keep my dream and to keep developing it. Sure, I will keep my dream and do things to reach it. Dream really motivates me when I am down, just like people I love.

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